I am a woman

This is a short reflection waktu gw found out that my ribs were swollen.. hehe.. Yang belom tau ceritanya, please read here dulu yak :) Pas itu, Tuhan bukain 1 of my mistakes, yaitu ga nyadarin role gw as a woman.. hehehe.. Maksud gw tuh begini. Both man and woman are created for different roles. Yes, semua orang equal di mata Tuhan, tapi role'nya tetep berbeda. Kalo co, Tuhan ciptain as the head of the family yang provide and protect his family; kalo ce, Tuhan ciptain as the heart of the family yang nurture and take care of the house. Bukannya gw bilang career woman itu salah loh, tapi maksud gw role di rumah tuh tetep ada :) Remember Proverbs 31?

Ok back to the story.. Pas tulang gw bengkak itu sebab'nya ya karena gw banyak angkatin barang2 berat. Gw orang'nya males minta tolong hahaha.. Apa2 gw kerjain sendiri. Di rumah ada ade co, tapi jarang ask for his help. Mao angkat gallon aer juga gw bisa. -___-"  Disitu Tuhan ingetin gw, kalo gw uda forgetting the role of a man at home. Gw ga  ngasi kesempatan buat men at home to do their role at home. Daripada cape suara minta tolong, gw lebih milih buat do it myself.

So girls, please be a woman that God created you to be, and let your man to do his role too. Jangan sampe those men jadi males karena kita ga perna mintain tolong hahahaha.. Lebih2 mreka juga dengan seneng ati nolongin koq. Karena emang udah diciptain begitu dari sononya.. mreka emang lebih kuat dari ce.. Jadi kalo ada barang berat2, ga usa sok perkasa lah.. hahahaha.. ask your men (Dad, brother, boyfriend, etc) helping you. But, don't abuse this privilege ya! jangan mentang2 kita ce kaum yang lebih lemah, trus kita jadi princess yang kemana2 harus dilayani. Nope. Our mission in this world is to serve, not to be served :)

Dari situ, gw jadi reflect lagi kalo ternyata kita kaum wanita punya "super power" yang either can built our men or destroy them. Inget Delilah yang seduce Samson sampe dia akhirnya buka rahasia kalo sumber kekuatannya tuh dari rambutnya? Inget Safira yang agree sama decision suaminya untuk boong soal hasil jual tanahnya? and masi ada beberapa tokoh lagi yang di tulis di Alkitab tentang itu. As women, we need to read Proverbs 31 everyday, biar kita inget apa role kita in this world. Jangan sampe kita kepengaruh sama dunia yang ga lagi ngehargain the role of man and woman. We should be like Sarah (the wife of father Abraham) yang setia meskipun suaminya takut buat ngakuin dia sebagai istri di depan Firaun karena takut dibunuh, kayak Ruth yang ga mao ninggalin ibu mertuanya (Naomi) meskipun suaminya uda meninggal, kayak Esther yang beriman sama Tuhan, n masi banyak lagi tokoh2 wanita di Alkitab. We are the princess of warrior, bukan princess ala Disney.. hehehe.. As women of God, we should be trustworthy, kind, dilligent, loving, care, strong, and wise. Be strong girls--not to compete with guys though-- and don't forget our mission in this world! :)

Saat Dokter bilang....

Beberapa bulan lalu gw check up ke dokter karena ada bump in my right chest. Serem lah ya.. Apalagi ce itu rawan sama yang namanya breast cancer. hehe.. Bump itu sebenernya uda gw rasain lama banget (uda beberapa taon gitu), tapi ga pernah brasa sakit ato gatel ato gimana. Yet, awal taon ini brasa sakitt bgtt.. Kadang nyut2an gitu, but kalo kegencet pas lagi tidur ato duduk sambil peluk bantal di sofa gitu.. Jiaahh.. Gw panic dunkss.. hehe.. Pas itu gw bawa doa sambil nanges2 *lebay*, n Tuhan cuma bilang "jangan takut! ini buat kebaikan keluargamu." Hah? Asli gw binun.. but karena Tuhan bilang jangan takut, gw berusaha buat ga takut meskipun kadang worry juga.. hehehe.. Gw doa terus soal itu sendiri tanpa bilang sapa2 selama beberapa minggu.. gw doa minta kekuatan sama Tuhan biar dikasi strength gitu waktu ngomong ke my parents, kekuatan juga buat my family for this news. Karena jujur gw masi ada takut juga sih ya, n I believe that my parents juga pasti kepikiran nantinya.. hehehe.. Setelah beberapa minggu, akhirnya gw beraniin bilang ke mreka. n yes, pas mreka aku kasi tau, nyokap uda kayak mao nanges gitu.. padahal gw'nya uda gpp, bisa ngomong ke mreka dengan sante'nya.. haha.. ya mana ada lah orang tua yang ga shock waktu denger kabar begituan dari anaknya? heheheheheh.. so yeaa.. waktu itu gw juga bilang ke mereka kalo gw uda bawa doa, n Tuhan bilang jangan takut karena ini buat kebaikan kita smua. 

Akhirnya, bokap nyokap gw maksa gw buat check up as soon as possible, sama dokter mana aja.. pokoknya buruan check sebelom telat. Nah gw'nya sendiri berkeras kalo gw maonya dokter ce. In fact, dokter ce di sini (yang di area gw) itu jarang. Sampe nyokap gw nanya ke mana2 soal dokter ce, n mreka bilang ga ada dokter ce.. "juaraaaaannggg bangettt Feb, kamu cepetan periksa aja lah ga usa peduliin ce/co".. haiyaa.. ga mao lah ya.. no way! cuma my future hubby yg boleh access ke sana nantinya.. hahahahaha.. jaoh amat mikirnya.. Eniwei, gw bawa doa lagi soal ini.. n God answered! Tuhan kasi gw 2 dokter ce yang bener2 dueket rumah gw, n 1 dokter lagi di campus.. Manusia bilang jarang, manusia bilang ga mungkin, tapi buat Tuhan semuanya urusan kuecil! huehehehehe.. Our God is an awesome! Gw kasi tau ke orang2 yang bilang ga mungkin tadinya.. biar mreka tau kalo Tuhan itu hidup! hahahaha.. 

"What the wicked dread will overtake them;

what the righteous desire will be granted." -Proverbs 10:24

Setelah check di 3 dokter itu, mreka bilang kalo itu "cuma" bones yang lagi swollen. Tulang bisa swollen juga yak? Indeed, yes. Why? Karena beberapa hal. In my case, gw banyak bawa barang2 berat yang akhirnya bikin my ribs working hard, akhirnya ya begitulah bengkak dah. Mreka check selama 6 months, bump'nya ga membesar n sakitnya ilang. Puji Tuhan! Indeed, dari situ we learn how to pray! hahaha.. Saat kita tenang2 kena angin sepoi2, kita bakalan brasa dunia aman terkendali. Akhirnya, santai deh sama Tuhan. Begitu kena badai, baru lah.. -___-"

Nah baru aja angin badai'nya reda, another strong wind came. hahaha.. Pas check darah di campus (ini karena gw iseng pingin tau what my rhesus is, bukan karena bump thingy hehe..), they found out kalo my livers are elevated. Hadehhh.. apalagi ya -___-" Liver gw bengkak karena KATANYA, gw ada consume alchohol, tylenol, ato anti-biotic sebelom blood test. Halahh.. ya gw bilang ma dokternya kalo gw ga consume itu smua.. gw anti obat, n ga minum any alchohol *kalo cendol gw doyan hehehe..* Lagi2, my family, n my pastors kelabakan hahaha.. Saat gw research gejala2nya, ya emang gw ngalamin beberapa dari gejala2 itu. Jadi I assumed that hasil check itu bener. They prayed hard for my healing, tapi malah saat2 kayak gitu (again) Tuhan uda kasi tau lagi "jangan takut".. Gw speechless. Pingin buat ga worry, tapi ga bisa. apalagi badan juga ngerasain ga enak2nya gitu.. haizz..

Long short story, dari 2 kejadian itu gw banyak belajar tentang doa, n gw bisa liat how great our God is.. Lebih2, gw bisa ngerasain gimana rasanya ada dalem keluarga kerajaan Allah. Saat2 doa bareng2 sama mreka smua (my family, n my church community), rasanya bener2 gimanaaa gt.. hehehe.. n terlebih what my Rainbow said was melted my heart hehehe.. Waktu gw bilang ke dia, "ko, gimana kalo misalnya aku bener2 sakit? what you will do?" He said, "jangan mikir yang engga2, itu kan kata dokter. Skalipun kamu sakit, nothing will change. I will take care of you." huhuhuhuhuhu.. In 2009, nyokap dia passed away karena cancer, n dia satu2nya yang sering bolos kerja karena anterin nyokap'nya bolak-balik buat chemo, masakin masakan ala orang sakit yang non spices a.k.a. hambar (dia juga ikutan makan loh), nemenin nyokap'nya sampe nyokap'nya balik Indo. Gw super salut sama dia.. makanya pas gw dapet kabar yg aneh2 soal sakit ini-itu, gw juga binun gimana mao sampe'in ke dia. Masa dulu nyokapnya uda sakit begitu, skarang gw.. kasian amat.. hahahaha.. But yeaa, God has a plan for all of us. Dengan adanya badai2 ringan n besar, kita makin deket sama Dia. Mestinya kita makin seneng ya kalo Tuhan proses, karena itu brarti Tuhan masi peduli sama kita. hehehehe..

Beberapa hari lalu hasil blood test gw yang kedua keluar, n the result is fine. Praise God. Tuhan emang Allah yang dahsyat n hidup. Apapun yang terjadi sama kita, semua itu dalam rencanaNya. Saat kita declare kalo kita mao ikut Tuhan, Tuhan ga janjiin hidup kita bakalan lancar kayak jalan tol, tapi Dia janji kalo Dia ga akan perna ninggalin kita. So, whatever is happening now, just put your faith in Him. Karena Dia turut bekerja dalam segala perkara. Kalo Tuhan ga redakan badai hidup kita, Dia pasti kasi kita kekuatan buat menari dalam badai! Don't lose faith, but tighten our hands to Him! To God be the glory!

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able,  but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

-1 Corinthians 10:13

Praying

Many Christians know that pray is the way we communicate with the Lord, yet not so many of us know how to have a good communication with Him. It is like our relationship with family, friends, and other people surround us—a good communication is two ways communications. In fact, many of us only have one way communication with God that we are the one who dominate the conversation. It is not healthy relationship, isn’t it? Imagine we have a conversation with a friend/relative/spouse, and we are the only one who is speaking all the time. Well, it cannot be considered as conversation then. It is not even a good relationship either. So, today, I would like to share how to pray—what are do and don’t in a prayer, and who should we pray for.

As I mention before, communication is needed in a relationship; however, communication does take time. It is also consuming our time; yet, it is required to create a good relationship. So, take your time when you are praying, and don’t rush it! Imagine you meet your friend somewhere and you greet him, “Hey A, how are you? I am doing good now.. Oh I also bla bla.. Alright then bye.” Your friend doesn’t even reply your greet yet, but you already leave him. How do you feel when it happened to you? Sad? Angry? Is it the so-called relationship? Is it a conversation? Nope.

Jesus gave us an example of pray in Matthew 6: 5-15, and it is supposed to be our guideline of pray. First of all, we need to give glory to Him. He is the creator, and He is the only One who deserves the glory. Secondly, ask for forgiveness, and then tell Him what you want to tell Him.. your desires.. your struggle.. everything.

In Matthew 6 is explained what are dos and don’ts in a prayer.

-      Don’ts:

·   be like hypocrites, who pray for their own image >> to be recognized as a good/religious person. (v. 5)

·   Use repetition like heathen does. (v. 7) >> our Father knows everything we need and desires before we ask Him, but again.. He wants a relationship with us. Imagine that a son comes to his father and says, “hi Dad, today I need bla bla bla” and then leave before his father answer him.

·   Or even pray very berry short >> In Indo, it's like pray “Pak Simin” (Bapak terima kasih Amin..) Nope. Please take your time when you pray.

-      Dos:

·   Pray secretly (v.6) >> pray in quiet/secret place, just between you and God.

·   Pray openly and honest for He knows our desires (v. 8) >> remember, He knows everything about us.

·   Let His will be done in us.

He knows everything about us, yet He want to have relationship with us.. He wants to have a communication with us personally—personally without any middle man. He reminds us that His sheep know their Shepherd voice. When we are in a crowd, and then someone we know calls us, somehow we will recognize his/her voice, yes?  

However, we also need to be careful with our motivation in prayer; most of time we pray only for ourselves. We pray for our own wealth, health, and goodness. We tend to forget praying for others. Remember, as brother and sister, all of us should pray for one another. Indeed, our fingers can help us to remember who we need to pray for.

-    Thumb  >> thumb is the closest finger to us. So begin by praying for those closest to us. He has promised, when someone is saved, He will save his or her whole family. It doesn’t mean that we have nothing to do. Here, we should do our part too which is praying for our family member. The stronger in spirit (us) should fight for those who are weak.

-    Index finger (pointer) >> it reminds us to pray for those who teach us; Bible teachers, preachers, and those who teach children. All of us are His witnesses. He calls all of us to be fishers of men. Teacher and preacher also need our prayers; because they are judged harder compare to us. (Matthew 18: 4-6).

-    Middle finger >> it's not for cursing others! indeed, it is the tallest.. it reminds us to pray for those in authorities over us; government, our teachers at school, our boss, our supervisors. Why we should pray for them? Because they lead us.. they lead this country.  Let’s read 1 Timothy 2: 1-2 and Jeremiah 29: 7. On those verses are clearly states that we should pray for our authority. Where ever we are, whatever our job is, and who ever our authority is, we should pray to the Lord for them.

-    Ring finger >> this finger is the weakest—people who play music (piano, guitar, violin, etc) will notice this. It reminds us to pray for those who are in struggle and suffering (James 5: 13-16). It can be our church member, or someone we don’t know who is persecuted. Again, the stronger should pray for the weaker.

-    And the last is our little finger >> this finger reminds us that we are small compared to God, and we need Him in every single time (Philippians 4: 6, 19). We need to ask God for what we desire with thanksgiving, not in grumble; and He will fulfill all our needs.

Whatever method we use, just talk to Him through what He teach us. He loves to hear our sincere prayer. Jesus is not far, He is just a prayer away. However, there is time when we cannot pray.. when we don’t have desire to read His love letter.. when we are tired of our spiritual battle.. when those times come, it is when God will answer our prayer. Don’t stop praying! It’s Satan who tries to hinder us from God’s will. If we don’t have desire to pray, praise Him in worship, and prayer will come after.

A good prayer is not the one that comes from us, but the one that comes from Holy Spirit. In 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 states that “Rejoice ALWAYS. Pray WITHOUT ceasing. In EVERYTHING give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for YOU.” To God be the glory :)